So, with Mankey still in my party I heading across the Nugget Bridge. I fought not just one trainer but 5 in a row! Each one was left in a pile of blood and Pokeguts by my expert team. These trainers also made my remember why I hate Pidgey. FUCK YOU SAND ATTACK! Fuck you in your stupid ass! Eventually (with no trips back to the PokeCenter) I was across the bridge and collected my reward - a Nugget! Then a Team Rocket Grunt tried to recruit me to Team Rocket. Unfortunately when I tried to say "yes" my Ivysaur accidentally Vine Whipped him and his head fell off and now I am marked as "At War" with the Team Rocket faction, so there'll be no second chance for me to join them now. DAMN YOU IVYSAUR! I thought evolving might have curbed his violent tendencies, I was wrong.
On the other side of Nugget Bridge I caught myself an Oddish. I know there's Abra's in that grass too but they tend to frustrate me with their Teleporting shenanigans so I decided they can wait. I headed into more trainer battles on my way to the Cape, kicking all their butts (though I did have to slink back to the PokeCenter once). At the Cape I interupted a date in progress and then stood there watching them for a while, like some creepy backwoods PokeUrban Legend. They didn't start getting into a heavy makeout session so I went into Bill's house.
Inside Bill's house I found that there had been some sort of terrible transporter malfunction and Bill had been merged with a fly. Oh, wait, I mean a Clefairy. Instead of then going on a killing rampage like any other self respecting scientist who'd been in a transporter malfunction Bill offered me tea and crumpets and then finally we reversed the polarity and he was back to his old self. Since I saved him from a fate worse than death (being a ClefairyDude is apparently pretty bad) Bill gave me his ticket to go on the S.S. Anne. Now, I don't want to seem ungrateful but I'm pretty sure he just didn't want to go because he was going to conduct some more sick experiments with that transporter.
Back outside that couple were still just standing there, not yet making out. I put on my running shoes and headed back to Cerulean to take on the second gym. That reminds me, I haven't heard from my mum for a while, I hope she hasn't been caught up in some sort of drug turf war with a gang from Johto or something.
Back in Cerulean I healed my Pokemon and headed into the water type gym run by Misty, a tough old drag queen who is into watersports. She pulled out her chocolate starfish and threw it at me. Turns out it was a pokemon. Pikachu electrocuted the hell out of Misty's Staryu and then, because I figure one session of electro-torture is enough for one day, even for a fetishist like Misty, I used Ivysaur to defeat her Starmie. While Ivysaur chewed on the Starmie's carcass I discussed my ideas for a new design for the gym with Misty. I suggested some hot boys in speedo's swimming around randomly in the water. And latex, every wet play room should have latex. After ensuring Misty had my number so I could help "audition" the boys I headed out on the next leg of my journey.
Next up, I'm crashing that daycare and getting me a Meowth. Also, I need a Cut HM to teach to someone.
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