If you can't join them...

Beat them!

With my new Growlithe at the front of my team I headed into Celadon City. Aside from the world famous department store I'd heard rumors that Team Rocket had a secret head quarters here. After their refusal to let me join after nugget Bridge I was out to teach them a lesson. I figured I'd see what I could find.

First thing I did was head to the department store. It was shoppers heaven! Before long I was laden down with potions, balls and evolution stones. Which kinda left me a little light in the pockets. By which I mean I was broke!

To fund my luxurious life I decided to go and have alook what I could find in other peoples houses. I figure if the doors not locked and it's not nailed down, it's finders keepers. It didn't take me long to exhaust the opportunities in town. I didn't find much in the way of valuables but I found something even better, Eevee. I sent Eevee to Bill's storage system and continued my search for Team Rockets secret hideout.

In the games corner I was busy playing slots with a little money that I'd been given by some random people (I SWEAR I didn't mug them, honestly) when I got my first break. At the back of the room I caught a glimpse of a Rocket Grunt. I flew into action with my team. We beat the living crap out of him and he ran away screaming. I pondered how to work things next time so I could actually question him about the Rockets location. While I thought I leant against the wall. I heard a faint click and a panel nearby slid away to reveal a secret stairway. JACKPOT!

I made my way down these stairs and found my hunch was right, this was Team Rockets secret hideout! I wouldn't be leaving here until I had taught them not to recruit me! Ivysaur, Growlithe and the rest of my team tore the Rockets to shreds. I stole everything I found that wasn't nailed down and kicked the ass of every trainer I could find. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ivysaur evolved into Venusaur!Venusaur was unstoppable, leaving a bloody trail as I tried to rein him in. After one particularly bloody battle I searched the body of the Rocket Grunt ( well the part that was hanging out of Venusaur's mouth anyway) and found a key card for the locked elevator. Yes! Now I'd find what they were hiding.I rode the elevator into the secret bowels of Team Rockets hideout and there I met the head of this shadowy organization, Giovanni. Here stood the man who ran Kanto's only real organized crime syndicate. If I could broker a peace with this man I could become one of the richest Pokemon trainers in the world! Unfortunately Venusaur blew that idea. Still gripped by his blood lust, Venusaur charged by me, Giovanni firmly in his sights.

I thought this would be the end of Giovanni but he pulled out his own Pokemon to cover his retreat. Venusaur made short work of Giovanni's Pokemon but the wily old man had escaped. Amongst the ruins of Giovanni's office I found a few interesting items, including some paperwork about my mum, confirming my suspicions of her meth dealing but more importantly there was also a Silph Scope! With this scope I could return to the Pokemon Tower and capture some ghost Pokemon!

Burn, baby, burn! Celadon Inferno!

Before I headed back to Lavender Town I had one last stop in Celadon, the Celadon Gym! I cut my way to the gym and found some old perv looking through one of the windows. I joined him to see what the fuss was about. It was one of those gyms for women only, EW! And I mean, if I made a gym and said it was for guys only I'd be sued for discrimination. And probably sexual harassment of the hot guys coming to my gym.

Anyway, I charged into the gym, ready to collect my next badge. The gym was full of chicks with Grass Type Pokemon, my Fearow and Growlithe were superstars! What Fearow didn't peck to death Growlithe set on fire. Soon there were walls of fire all around me, being fueled by Pokemon and their trainers. Suddenly a figure loomed out of the smoke and there she was, Erika, the leader of this gym.

Erika pulled out her Victreebell and he was Pecked into a pile of leaves by Fearow. Next came out her Tangela. Fearow couldn't peck to the centre of this tangled bush so Growlithe set fire to it. And then came Gloom. Amid the smoke Gloom sent out waves of Stun Spores and Sleep Powder. Growlithe and Fearow were having a hard time of it. Eventually they managed to wear Gloom down. Reluctantly Erika handed over to me her badge and we fled the gym before it collapsed around us in a fiery ruin!

As we stood outside the gym, covered in ash I looked down at the badge in my hand. It was the Rainbow Badge. THe women only gym suddenly made sense, it was a lesbian gym! These ladies had just wanted a place to hang out with other likeminded people away from bigotry and I had burned it to the ground. I felt a little sad and vowed to make it up to them. Later. Right now I had a Pokemon Tower to bring down!