A new Adventure begins

Three years. THREE YEARS! I thought this witness protection thing with Team Rocket would blow over pretty quickly. I spent many months thinking that "today will be the day Prof Oak comes for me" but he didn't. Then I spent the next year trying to fit in here in my new home in New Bark Town but it just didn't work, I miss my Pokemon too much. And then I had an idea.

My new "mum" is really an agent for some special police, Oak set me up here with her. She's ok but she barely lets me out of her sight, I knew I would have to work on her to get out of this town and back to Pokemon training. There's another Pokemon Professor in this town, Prof Elm. I'd met him a few times and he seemed ok, if a little absent minded. The person I needed on side was a girl about my age named Lyra. I became friends with her and she's a great person but not too bright. It was pretty easy to make her think it's odd that someone my age didn't have a Pokemon or have a trainer card. Quickly it spread from Lyra to her family to the rest of the town. I knew that the fact I didn't have a Pokemon would soon be raising too many questions. I was right.

One morning I came down for breakfast after a weird dream about Prof Oak and a Marrill. I'd barely made it down my stairs when my "mum" confronted me. She'd finally given in. She gave me a new trainer card and told me I was to run some errands for Prof Elm and get my own Pokemon. It had worked! "Mum" warned me not to wander too far, she could only really protect me if I was near. I agreed (with my fingers crossed behind my back) and realised I was going to miss her. She'd been more of a mum to me than my real mother had ever been and the house here was amazing compared to what I had come from. I impulsively gave her a hug and then dashed out the door.

Outside I ran into Lyra and her Marrill. I greeted them and made my goodbyes quickly, I was eager to get to Prof Elm's lab and get my Pokemon. I already knew that I wanted to travel with Chikorita, the grass Pokemon. I arrived at Elms lab and he gave me the standard "People travel and train and play with Pokemon and forge bonds and blah blah blah" speech before telling me he had one condition for me to have one of his Pokemon, I had to walk with my Pokemon outside their PokeBalls, he had some theories about the way it might affect evolution or something. I agreed hastily and dashed over to the table with the PokeBalls on it, searching for Chikorita. As I rummaged something caught my eye. There was a gorgeous Cyndaquil. She shone like a star. I had never seen a Cyndaquil with her gorgeous brown coat. I knew I had to have her.

With my new Cyndaquil following me I set out to run prof Elm's errand, running out past nearby Cherrygrove to the house of "Mr Pokemon". Easy as pie! On the way I stopped briefly at Cherrygrove and there met an old man who gave me a pair of running shoes. This would make my journey easier. I arrived at Mr Pokemon's house to Prof Oak there! I'd changed since I saw him last but I'm positive her recognised me. I knew I was going to be in trouble when I got back home. Mr Pokemon had been expecting me, he had a mysterious egg that he needed transported back to Prof Elm. I out the egg in my backpack and dashed off back to new Bark Town.

On the way back I ran into this redheaded guy who challenged me to a Pokemon fight. My Cyndaquil did her best and managed to defeat his Totodile. I got back to Elm's lab to find they'd been burgled! A redhead guy had been seen stealing Elm's Totodile. I helped the cops as best I could but I couldn't afford to be caught up in an investigation. I dropped by my home and luckily my "mum" was out. I left her a note and headed out of New Bark Town, for good. On my way out I ran into Lyra who gave me some PokeBalls, they would come in handy.

I passed through Cherrygrove again and snuck past Mr Pokemon's house in case Oak was still there. By the time I arrived in Violet City, home to the first Johto Gym, I had made a team of Cyndaquil, Hoothoot, Geodude, Sentret and Spinarak. I thought I had things decided, little did I know my team would go through several changes.

Farewell Giovanni and the Rise and Fall of Gary Oak

I flew into Veridian City on the back of my Pidgeot and went straight to the gym. I was determined to get my last badge and head to the Pokemon League. The gym was full of trainers of various types, my Pokemon were stretched to their limits putting them all down but I had faith that they could do it. After a long and bloody battle through the gy I made my way to the gym leader. I stood, frozen in shock, the Veridian gym leader was none other than Team Rocket Leader Giovanni! I was snapped out of it when he drew his first Pokeball. I had battled Giovanni before and I knew he relied heavily on ground Pokemon. Between Venusaur, Poliwhirl and Dragonair's surf I knew I had it all over him.

Vines and waves were flying everywhere, sweeping away Giovanni's Pokemon left and right. My team reduced his to dust without even batting an eyelid. When the air had finally cleared Giovanni threw the Earthbadge at my feet, I now had all of the badges I needed to enter the Pokemon League. I quickly scooped up the badge and by the time I stood back up Giovanni had disappeared. Once again the leader of Team Rocket had gotten away from me.

I left the gym and dropped by the PokeCentre for some healing then set out West from Viridian, this was the path tot he Pokemon League. As I walked I passed through several security gates, each one with men to check the authenticity of my badges. Each gate checked a single badge, with experts on the production of that badge making sure no fakes got through. Eventualy I had passed through all eight gates and was now on the Victory Road, a deep cave full of powerful Pokemon and trainers. My last test before the League.

I decided to play it smart through the cave, hiding behind boulders and sneaking past some of the trainers, I would need to save my potions for the League. After many Pokemon fights I saw daylight. I had reached the end of Victory Road. I ran out into the sun and smiled, here I was, Indigo Plateau, home of the Pokemon League. I entered the League building and found it had it's own PokeCentre. I healed my Pokemon and after checking I had everything I needed I went into my first League Challenge.

The Elite Trainer Lorelei was my first challenge. my Pokemon didn't stand a chance against her icy Pokemon. I was beaten soundly and turfed out on my ear. Determined not to make the same mistake twice I knew I had to train and research. I found out what type of Pokemon each of the Elite Four was likely to have and changed my team slightly, putting my Pidgeot into Bill's PC and replacing her with Articuno. Then, with the aid of some Rare Candies and the Exp. Share I set to work training my team. after ten hours of training I was finally ready to challenge Lorelei again. By then my Pikachu had been evolved into a Raichu and he killed every single one of Lorelei's Pokemon easily, she barely had time to even use a Full Restore.

After Lorelei was Bruno, the fighting trainer. My newly evolved Dragonite and Articuno took care of most of his team. Poliwrath took out his two Onix. This was going better than expected. My next challenge was Agatha, an old lady that specialised in Ghost Pokemon. I pulled out my Arcanine and he used his amazing Bite attack to take her team down. With Lorelei, Bruno and Agatha down I only had one more challenge to become the Pokemon Champion! I stepped into Lance's room, not knowing exactly what to expect other that that he specialised in Dragon type Pokemon. I knew my Pokemon were probably under leveled to face him but I had come prepared to out-Type him and had Articuno and Dragonite with great Ice attacks. I needn't have worried. Articuno used it's Ice Beam and zapped each of Lance's Pokemon into oblivion. As the last of Lance's team fell I let out a whoop of joy, I was the Pokemon Champion! lance shook my hand and congratulated me on my success but told me I wasn't yet the Champion!

What was this? Had I done all this work for nothing? No, Gary Oak had challenged the Elite Four only minutes before I had. he had become the Pokemon Champion and if I wanted that title I would have to beat him for it. GARY FUCKING OAK!

I stepped through into the final room, offering up a small prayer that my team could beat Gary's. if I was going to win this I would have to be very careful. The first Pokemon Gary threw out was a Pidgeot. Raichu hit it with one Thunder and it fell out of the sky. Next Gary tried to use a Rhydon but Venusaur used Frenzy Plant to rip it to shreds. Then Gyarados came out and my Raichu was back front and centre. Gyarados almost killed Raichu but ended up losing, JUST. A breathed a sigh of relief and withdrew Raichu. Next Gary used Alakazam and I sent out Arcanine, hoping his Bite attack would save us. It did. When Alakazam fell Gary sent out Exeggcutor. I threw a max Potion on Arcanine and then had it Flame Wheel until Exeggcutor was nothing but a pile of ash.

Finally Gary sent out his final Pokemon, Charizard. I sent out Dragonite to challenge it. The two dragons flew in the air, attacking and countering each other. Draconic blood rained down on Gary and I as our Pokemon traded blows. Charizard used Fire Blast and I countered with an Ice Beam I'd taught Dragonite earlier. The beam caught Charizard full in the face and encased him in a bloc of ice. The giant block of ice plummeted to the ground and shattered, Gary's last Pokemon was down. I WAS THE POKEMON CHAMPION!

It seemed a dream as Prof Oak came in behind us, telling Gary how disappointed he was that his grandson couldn't even hold onto the Championship for an hour. Oak husteled me hurriedly into another room where I could put my Pokemon into a computer to register as the Champion. I did so and was shocked when my Pokemon did not come back out of the machine. I turned to Oak and asked his what was going on. He told me I was in trouble. Giovanni had disappeared and Team Rocket thought I had killed him! I tried to protest but Prof Oak told me there was no time, I was being shipped away into a witness protection program for my own good. I was going to live somewhere called Johto. My mother would be given protection and a "dummy" version of me would be set up on Mount Silver to distract the Rockets. I could not take my Pokemon with me, they were too distinctive, Oak would look after them until I could return one day. I said a tearful and hurried farewell into the machine, hoping my beloved Pokemon would hear me and then I was whisked away into the night. I remember sitting and wondering if they had Pokemon in the Johto place...

And thus ends my journey through Fire Red. Yes, yes, I know there's the rest of the Sevii Islands and Cerulean Cave to do but I completed the Elite Four and that was my main objective on this game. I will return one day soon to complete Fire Red but for now I am moving onto Heart Gold.

Three Birds, One Trainer.

I set out south of Fuschia City, riding the waves on the back of my Dratini. The first trainer we met was a hot dude wearing a speedo. At first I was distracted but I managed to rally long enough to have Pikachu electrocute his Pokemon. Once the battle was over the waves washed me away but I kept the image of his body in my mind, looks like this trip across the ocean could be fun after all.

The sea currents took us and we fought several trainers and caught a Tentacool before we washed ashore. I was all psyched up to challenge the gym but I realized we hadn't reached Cinnibar yet, this was the Seafoam Islands. I ventured into the cave I saw to check out what Pokemon were inside. Soon I was catching some new Pokemon, including a Seel and a Golduck. As I ventured deeper into the cave the air got chillier, something deep in the cave was causing icy winds to blow.

Growlithe pushed aside boulders so we could venture deeper into the freezing darkness. Unfortunately I was too busy daydreaming about the hot speedo trainer and didn't see the gaping hole in the cavern floor, suddenly I was plunging down through the frigid air. I hit the ice cold water with and almighty splash and came up gasping. I pulled out my PokeBalls and was soon on my Dratini's back, trying to keep warm and dry off. That's when I saw it, the source of the chill, the legendary Articuno!

I directed Dratini towards Articuno and as soon as we hit land I leaped forward, already calling Pikachu out and firing lightning attacks at the beautiful blue bird. It was a long, hard fight and by the end most of my Pokemon had fainted and I had used most of my Ultra Balls when finally, a stroke of luck, the Ultra Ball locked, I had caught my first legendary bird! With a great sense of pride in my Pokemon we managed to find our way out of the cave and set off westwards, towards Cinnibar Island.

We pulled ourselves out of the sea at Cinnibar Island, glad to see the PokeCentre. I healed my Pokemon, including my newly evolved Poliwhirl, and explored Cinnibar. The gym was locked! I asked around but apparently no one knew where the key was. One person mentioned the gym leader liked to train inside the abandoned Pokemon Mansion nearby. Before I set out I decided to check out the Laboratory nearby. Inside I met some scientists who took the fossils I had collected in Mount Moon and Pewter Museum and were able to clone some Pokemon from them, an Aerodactyl and an Omanyte.

The Pokemon Mansion was a creepy old, burnt out ruin. Inside were several trainers, sortin through the rubble for any treasures they could find. I joined the search. Fragments of old files and journals revealed the truth of the mansion. A team of scientists had used it as a base of operations. They had found DNA from and unknown Pokemon in the jungles of South America and tried to clone it. The creature they made was called Mewtwo and apparently it was very powerful. The scientists lost control of Mewtwo and it killed moat of them and destroyed the mansion. I also found a couple of documents that mentioned Giovanni. What could Team Rocket have to do with it. I pushed thoughts of the Rockets out of my mind when I found an old key. This HAD to be the key to the Cinnibar Gym.

I was right, it WAS the key to the Cinnibar Gym. Inside the gym I worked my way past trainers who had obviously been locked in for a while. Soon I was face to face with Blaine, the gym leader. After the effort on the Seafoam Islands and in the Pokemon Mansion Blaine was a relative pushover. Between Poliwhirl and my surfing Dratini his fire Pokemon never stood a chance. Soon it was nothing but a room full of steam as his flames were put out. Blaine handed over the Volcanobadge and told me I should head to Mount Ember, a volcano in the Sevii Islands. He thought I would benefit from a visit there.

From Cinnibar I could easily have surfed north towards Pallet Town and then Viridian to get me final gym badge but I thought I would see what Blaine was talking about. With some help from Bill I was soon off to the Sevii Islands an Mount Ember. The people of the Sevii Islands were a bit strange but they had plenty of Pokemon around. I caught a few on my way to the peak of Mount Ember. I couldn't find anything that I thought would interest me, maybe Blaine was just trying to distract me. Then I reached the top and saw it in all it's majesty, the second legendary bird, Moltres.

I wasn't sure how things would go with Moltres, my Pokemon were already worn out and I only had a handful of Ultra Balls on me. I opened up with Dratini, using it to paralyze Moltres and quickly switched to Poliwhirl to hypnotize it. With the great bird asleep and paralyzed I sent out Growlithe, hoping his own fiery nature would keep him from getting hurt. Slowly my Pokemon whittled down Moltres' life and then when it was dangerously close to fainting I started throws balls at it. It took all 11 of my Ultra Balls but I finally caught it.

With Moltres resting beside Articuno in Bill's PC I left the Sevii Islands to return to mainland Kanto. I made landfall and snuck through Pewter Town, not wanting to confront my mother about her meth lab. I was on my way to Viridian when I got a call from Misty. Apparently she'd been in the middle of a huge drag show with all her new hot boys when the power had gone out. She wanted me to go check out the Power Plant for her. I figured if I did it she'd owe me one and might lend me some of her boys. So I pulled out Pidgeot and got her to fly me out to Rock Cave, the closest PokeCentre to the Power Plant.

I surfed down the nearby river to the Power Plant. Once there I found it over run by electric type Pokemon. I fought my way into it, keeping my Poliwhirl out of the battle, knowing it would be vulnerable to the electricity. Deep inside the Power Plant I found many items scattered about and also some Voltorbs placed as traps. I was beginning to think I wouldn't find the problem. I'd have to go back to Misty and tell her the Power Plant was I salvageable. Maybe I'd even have Growlithe and Venusaur tear it down for authenticity. And then I reached the main generators. On top of the generators sat a gang nest. I carefully climbed up and found the Zapdos sleeping there. I quickly threw out some Ultra Balls and caught Zapdos before he even awoke. I now had all three legendary bird Pokemon in my possession! I cleared out Zapdos' nest and primed the generators. Soon the Power Plant was running at full speed. I called Misty and informed her of my success. Then I ducked out the side entrance of the Power Plant, mounted my Pidgeot and flew back to Viridian. It's time to earn my last badge.

Bikers and Ninjas and Safari Balls, OH MY!

I plunged down Cycling Road at breakneck speeds, I could smell rubber burning every time I tried to apply the brakes! Whoever had built this road was mental, I was sure I was going to die. I saw some bushes up ahead and decided to take the risk. I pitched my bike sideways, hoping the bushes would save me. I pulled myself out of the bushes to find myself surrounded by a gang of bikers. Cycling Road was THEIR territory. WAS. Butterfree made short work of them , Psybeaming all of their Pokemon into a confused pile of dust! Once they were cowering in front of me I used their fear of my Pokemon to demand they use their bikes to improve mine. Soon I had brakes that would allow me to travel the rest ofthe way down Cycling Road without killing myself.

It wasn't long before I'd reached Fuschia City, home of the next gym and the Safari Zone. most of the city was taken up by what seems to be some kind of Pokemon Zoo attached to the Safari Zone. I stopped by the PokeCentre for healing and found the PokeMart didn't stock the potions I wanted. In one of the houses I met a fisherman who upgraded my crappy Old Rod to a Good Rod! I immediately went into his back yard and fished in the pond I found there. In quick succession I had caught a Goldeen and a Poliwag.

On the eastern edge of town I found a look out where I ran into one of Prof. Oak's assistants. he informed me that if I had caught 50 different Pokemon he'd give me and Exp. Share. I knew I needed this powerful item so I lied! Unfortunately he had a connection to Prof Oak's PC and knew I was lying. I checked my 'dex and saw I was less than 10 Pokemon from hitting the 50 mark. With this in mind I made the decision to retire my Gyarados for a water Pokemon with evolutionsstill to come. I placed my newly caught Poliwag at the front of my party and flew to Lavender Town, deciding to take the seaside route from the back to Fuschia to earn my Poliwag some XP.

On the boardwalks many fishermen were out plying their trade and were happy to battle with me. My Venusaur and Pikachu shone like the stars they are, taking on and decimating all comers. Yes, I know that's not the proper use of the word decimate, get over it. Along the way I did a bit of fishing myself and caught a Horsea. I also stopped in a shack I found for a rest and met another fisherman who upgraded my Good Rod to a Super Rod! Now there wasn't a fish Pokemon I couldn't catch. I completed the rest of my journey to Fuschia without incident other than a bunch of trainers piled at my feet. I did manage to catch a Ditto though, so that was awesome. The damn thing was a pain to catch and by the time it finally got into a Pokeball I was contemplating just letting Venusaur tromp it into goo.

Back in Fuschia City I checked my 'dex and found I was still 2 Pokemon short of obtaining the Exp. Share. It was time to check out the Safari Zone. The Zone is home to many rare and powerful Pokemon, and for $500 I could keep as many as I could catch. I thought this was a bargain until they took away my normal balls and gave me some "Safari Balls". Well, every sideshow has something that weighs the odds in favour of the House, so I took it in stride and didn't let Venusaur just kill them all while I raided the Zone.

Once inside the Zone I knew I was in the right place, Pokemon were appearing that I'd never seen before! Scyther, Kangaskhan, Tauros and many other were coming at me from all sides as I journeyed deeper and deeper into the Zone. I tried to catch them all but the Safari Balls suck ass and I missed many of them but managed to add several to my collection. Deep in the Zone I found a house and the Zone Staff that manned it gave me the HM Surf, which would allow my Pokemon to move boulders, once I had the SoulBadge. The last Pokemon I caught before leaving the Zone was Dratini! I knew I wanted Dratini in my party. As soon as I was out of the Zone I went to a PokeCentre and swapped out my Poliwag for the Dratini.

Now it was time to attack the 6th gym and get my Soulbadge. I entered the gym and found that all the trainers there were bragging about their "invisible walls". I was like "Ok, dicks, it's called glass we all have it". I worked my way towards the gym leader, Koga, the Ninja. Trainers fell beneath the onslaught of Growlithe bites and Venusaurs raging Razor Leaf. Soon I face Koga. He believed I would be no match for him but I knew his secret weakness. Buttefree flew from his PokeBall and unleashed Psybeam after Psybeam, knocking Koga's Pokemon to the floor, all of them unconscious. Koga begrudgingly handed over his Soulbadge to prove I had beaten his gym. before I left he looked over my team and laughed. He told me the next gym was fire based and that my team had too many weaknesses to fire and not enough strengths against it.

I sat outside Koga's gym, thinking about his words. If he was telling the truth my team would not easily make it past the next gym. This would be the second last gym before I could compete against the Elite Four. I knew it would be tough and needed to give myself every advantage that I could. With sorrow I sent Butterfree to Bills PC and withdrew the Poliwag again, it seemed he was destined for a place on my team after all. Before I left Fuschia for Cinnibar Island I visited the Game Warden, who gave me the HM, Strength in return for the gold teeth I'd found in the Safari Zone. Now my Pokemon could move boulders. I payed one last visit to the Safari Zone now that I could Surf. On the water I found the rare Psyduck and then, in the grass I chanced upon a Chansey who i also added to my collection. I quickly stopped by to see Prof/ Oak's aid, who told me now that I had enough Pokemon I could have the Exp. Share. I equipped it onto Poliwag and headed south of Fuschia to the beach. It was time to head to Cinnibar.

Mastering my Balls

After stopping by the Pokemon Centre to dump my Fearow in favour of a less ugly Pidgey I headed back to Lavender Town to climb Pokemon Tower, the final resting place for many Pokemon. Once inside it was quickly obvious that something was wrong here. The Rocket's had been through and killed some Pokemon and all the trainers inside were now possessed! It was like a bad horror movie. It felt like home for me and my Pokemon.

It wasn't long before I'd snagged a Ghastly and a Cubone and then I made my way up the tower, destroying the possessed trainers as I went. Then out of nowhere out pops Gary Oak, that FUCKER! He thought he'd trained well and could take me down this time. I quickly proved him wrong. My new Pidgey was gaining levels left and right while my other Pokemon showed Gary Oak just who the boss was. Once again I sent him fleeing with his tail between his legs. Not that I'm saying Gary Oak has a tail. But I'm not saying he doesn't. Gary oak COULD have a tail. Allegedly!

At the top of the tower I fought the spirit of Marowak and found a bunch of Rocket Grunts were still there. After kicking all their asses one by one in a gauntlet type of ordeal I found Mr Fuji, a man who I'd heard had been kidnapped. Fuji revealed he was here of his own free will to calm the spirit of Marowak. After I assured him that Marowak wouldn't be causing any more problems he gave me a PokeFlute. With this I could wake up those lazy fucking Snorlaxes that had been blocking the roads!

Before I could go hunting Snorlaxes I decided to investigate Saffron City. I heard that the Rocket's had moved there after their defeat in Celadon. I found Saffron in a state of lockdown. The Rocket's had seized control, most citizens were locked in their homes. After listening in on a few conversations it seemed that the Rockets had set up in the Silph Co. building so I made that my next stop. Inside Silph Co. there were Rocket Grunts everywhere. I knew that Giovanni was behind this and it was time to teach him a lesson for fleeing from me in Celadon.

I made my way up the many floors of Silph Co. fighting Rocket Grunts and scientists that had joined Team Rocket. I had under estimated how powerful the Rockets had become while I was off dealing with the Pokemon Tower and I now realised it had been but a distraction. I was battle weary and my Pokemon in bad shape when I once again ran into Gary Oak. That dumb fuck pops up everywhere but never sees to step up and fix the problem like I do. My Pokemon were already exhausted but I pushed them to their limits. Venusaur raged through Gary's Pokemon in a bloody haze and Pidgey evolved into a Pidgeotto! Eventually the battle was over and I was surprised to find myself and my Pokemon still standing, Gary had fled.

After a brief rest my team and I set forth again to find Giovanni. We ran into a scientist who had not gone over to the Rockets, he gave me a Lapras to take care of before he died in my arms. With a steely determination I smashed my way through the last few trainers and found myself face to face with Giovanni again. I knew I hadn't trained my Pokemon enough and this would be a tough battle but his Pokemon seemed to tremble at the sight of my Venusaur. Even though they were several levels higher than Venusar, it had no problems taking them down in a rain of leaves and vines.

When the vegetation was cleared Giovanni was no where to be seen, he had escaped again! Who I DID find was the president of Silph Co. for saving his life and his company he gave me a reward, the Master Ball! I laid this special ball gingerly in the ball pocket of my backpack. I knew it would come in handy one day. I modestly declined the ticker tape parade that Silph Co wanted to throw for me for saving Saffron and instead went to train hard, knowing I needed to kick butt at the Saffron Gym.

After some intense training I knew I was ready for the newest Gym. I charged in, ready to fight the psychic type pokemon I'd heard populated this gym. To my surprise there were no psychic types here, only fighters! I fought my way to the gym leader, Koichi, and my trusty Pidgeotto ripped his fighters apart, blowing their bodies to the four winds. When I asked for my gym badge I discovered my mistake. This was not the Saffron Gym but a fighting dojo BESIDE the Saffron Gym. To placate my anger the leader of the dojo allowed me to take one of their prize fighters. I took Hitmonchan and shoved him in Bill's PC.

One quick stop at the PokeCentre later I was in the right place and teleporting all around Saffron Gym looking for the leader, Sabrina. Growlithe and Gyarados shone with their bite attacks taking huge chunks out of the Pokemon protecting this gym. Eventually I had fought my way to the centre of the gym and stood face to face with Sabrina. Sabrina gave me a run for my money but she just could not stand up to Gyarados and Growlithe. I decided to let out Venusaur to sate his blood lust and he was knocked out! This was the first time I'd seen anyone do that to Venusaur. I knew that this meant a change in the way I'd train. From here on out I would train my Pokemon harder and I would be the very best, like no one ever was!

After finally defeating Sabrina and earning my Marshbadge I headed out, past Celadon towards the Cycling Road. Here I found myself a Doduo in the long grass and fought my first Snorlax. Snorlax proved to be a challenge but soon he was in his new home, a Great Ball in Bill's PC. behind the entrance to Cycling Road I found a secret shack and there a woman taught my Pidgeotto how to Fly! Now I could easily fly between the cities we'd already visited.

From my vantage point at the top of Cycling Road I could see all the way down it towards Fuschia City, where I would find the next Gym and I'd also heard there was a "Safari Zone" there, home to many rare Pokemon. That's my next goal!

If you can't join them...

Beat them!

With my new Growlithe at the front of my team I headed into Celadon City. Aside from the world famous department store I'd heard rumors that Team Rocket had a secret head quarters here. After their refusal to let me join after nugget Bridge I was out to teach them a lesson. I figured I'd see what I could find.

First thing I did was head to the department store. It was shoppers heaven! Before long I was laden down with potions, balls and evolution stones. Which kinda left me a little light in the pockets. By which I mean I was broke!

To fund my luxurious life I decided to go and have alook what I could find in other peoples houses. I figure if the doors not locked and it's not nailed down, it's finders keepers. It didn't take me long to exhaust the opportunities in town. I didn't find much in the way of valuables but I found something even better, Eevee. I sent Eevee to Bill's storage system and continued my search for Team Rockets secret hideout.

In the games corner I was busy playing slots with a little money that I'd been given by some random people (I SWEAR I didn't mug them, honestly) when I got my first break. At the back of the room I caught a glimpse of a Rocket Grunt. I flew into action with my team. We beat the living crap out of him and he ran away screaming. I pondered how to work things next time so I could actually question him about the Rockets location. While I thought I leant against the wall. I heard a faint click and a panel nearby slid away to reveal a secret stairway. JACKPOT!

I made my way down these stairs and found my hunch was right, this was Team Rockets secret hideout! I wouldn't be leaving here until I had taught them not to recruit me! Ivysaur, Growlithe and the rest of my team tore the Rockets to shreds. I stole everything I found that wasn't nailed down and kicked the ass of every trainer I could find. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ivysaur evolved into Venusaur!Venusaur was unstoppable, leaving a bloody trail as I tried to rein him in. After one particularly bloody battle I searched the body of the Rocket Grunt ( well the part that was hanging out of Venusaur's mouth anyway) and found a key card for the locked elevator. Yes! Now I'd find what they were hiding.I rode the elevator into the secret bowels of Team Rockets hideout and there I met the head of this shadowy organization, Giovanni. Here stood the man who ran Kanto's only real organized crime syndicate. If I could broker a peace with this man I could become one of the richest Pokemon trainers in the world! Unfortunately Venusaur blew that idea. Still gripped by his blood lust, Venusaur charged by me, Giovanni firmly in his sights.

I thought this would be the end of Giovanni but he pulled out his own Pokemon to cover his retreat. Venusaur made short work of Giovanni's Pokemon but the wily old man had escaped. Amongst the ruins of Giovanni's office I found a few interesting items, including some paperwork about my mum, confirming my suspicions of her meth dealing but more importantly there was also a Silph Scope! With this scope I could return to the Pokemon Tower and capture some ghost Pokemon!

Burn, baby, burn! Celadon Inferno!

Before I headed back to Lavender Town I had one last stop in Celadon, the Celadon Gym! I cut my way to the gym and found some old perv looking through one of the windows. I joined him to see what the fuss was about. It was one of those gyms for women only, EW! And I mean, if I made a gym and said it was for guys only I'd be sued for discrimination. And probably sexual harassment of the hot guys coming to my gym.

Anyway, I charged into the gym, ready to collect my next badge. The gym was full of chicks with Grass Type Pokemon, my Fearow and Growlithe were superstars! What Fearow didn't peck to death Growlithe set on fire. Soon there were walls of fire all around me, being fueled by Pokemon and their trainers. Suddenly a figure loomed out of the smoke and there she was, Erika, the leader of this gym.

Erika pulled out her Victreebell and he was Pecked into a pile of leaves by Fearow. Next came out her Tangela. Fearow couldn't peck to the centre of this tangled bush so Growlithe set fire to it. And then came Gloom. Amid the smoke Gloom sent out waves of Stun Spores and Sleep Powder. Growlithe and Fearow were having a hard time of it. Eventually they managed to wear Gloom down. Reluctantly Erika handed over to me her badge and we fled the gym before it collapsed around us in a fiery ruin!

As we stood outside the gym, covered in ash I looked down at the badge in my hand. It was the Rainbow Badge. THe women only gym suddenly made sense, it was a lesbian gym! These ladies had just wanted a place to hang out with other likeminded people away from bigotry and I had burned it to the ground. I felt a little sad and vowed to make it up to them. Later. Right now I had a Pokemon Tower to bring down!

Ev'rybody's Tunnelling!

So, I heading into Diglett's Cave. Not surprisingly it was full of Diglett's. I caught one and continued on my way. I made my way through and came out near Pewter City. I could tell that's where I was because I could still hear Brock wailing over the beating I gave him. I had a look around and found a guy who taught me the Flash technique. Disappointingly this wasn't what I thought it would be :(

I headed into Pewter and found I could now sneak my way into the employee area of the Museum. While I was there some guy gave me a new fossil. I don't know whether he knew I didn't work there or not, all I know is it's mine now. By now I'd learned my next stop was Rock Tunnel so I headed out, through Mount Moon, past Cerulean again (where I stopped by to see if Misty needed a hand with those auditions) and around to the Rock Tunnel entrance. On my way I picked up a Voltorb and my Spearow evolved into a Fearow. I have to say, Fearow is the ugliest bird I've ever seen, it looks like someone has been beating it with the ugly stick (I swear, I'm not beating my Pokemon).

Once inside Rock Tunnel I used Flash (and was disappointed all over again) and started to explore. I caught myself an Onix and left a trail of beaten and bloody trainers.

In the Rock Tunnel I might a trainer calling himself a "PokeManiac". I'd believe the Maniac part, the guy looked like he'd caught and skinned a Charmander and was now parading around in it's skin. I beat him easily but made him think I'd had a tough time of it, I didn't want to anger him, he was too scary even for me.

Soon I had stumbled my way out of Rock Tunnel and found myself just outside of Lavender Town, home of the famous Pokemon Tower. I hear the tower is full of Pokemon graves and I thought that crashing such a place was too crass, even for me. At least until I get myself a way to interact with those ghosts so I can catch them.

Keeping the Pokemon Tower in my mind for a visit later I set out towards Celadon City, time for SHOPPING! Just outside of Lavender Town I found some tall grass and got distracted. In there I encountered a Growlithe! hastily I curbed my Pokemon's hunger for blood and threw a Great ball at it, managing to capture it. I ran straight back to the PokeCenter to throw my crappy Mankey in Bill's Storage PC and pull out my cute little Growlithe. NEW TEAM LINEUP! Bye bye Mankey. Next stop - Celadon Department Store!